Updated: Jul 23, 2018
Yesterday I learnt a friend from my past committed suicide. He was 23. I was in total shock when I found out. I didn’t believe it. This guy was conscious, I was so sure I was going to see him go on an epic spiritual journey of exploration. He was like me. A British born matrix kid, who liked to rave, liked to party. Who liked the highs in life. A free spirit.
I really thought he was going to be one of the ones I saw go on some epic journey of awakening. To learn he took his life, felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I felt sick to the bone, then anger in a way like I never felt anger. Anger because he’s gone and there nothing anyone can do to bring him back and he didn’t need to die. Yet if he were still here there is so much we could have done to keep him here. I’m angry at myself more than anything because I wish I had done more to help people like him.
This is a picture of us. At a festival the summer just before my awakening. I’m the one with the reggae monkey hat on shooting light in the sky, Edwin on the right.
I am all smiley here in this picture, but little can you see whats going on inside. I was an emotional wreck. I was depressed, I was lost and I didn’t have a clue how I could feel better.
So what I did- I would get high. I would get drunk, I would socialise and I would ignore all this inner despair eating away at my soul.
A month prior to this picture, I crashed my car. Something I had seen in a flash of Clairvoyance six months prior. The thing is, it took me a while to wake up. I ignored all the signs, I ignored the inner call. I heard it, but I didn’t want to deal with it. Mainly because I did’t know how, but also because it felt so much easier to just continue along the path of self destruction that I was on, than to put the breaks on and turn my life in the opposite direction. The ego highs were short lived, but they were a quick fix, a quick fix that ultimately made the inner downward spiral that much more painful.
I didn’t know it were possible to be happy in my body, and in my life given everything I had experienced. I didn’t know how easy it is to create that happiness. If someone had said that to me when this picture was taken, I probably would have wanted to punch them in the face. I wouldn’t have punch them literally, I wasn’t physically violent but energetically, I was angry, I was violent in my thoughts, and I was mad at life.
When I crashed my car. I felt the angels and spiritual realms with me and man was I mad. I was mad at ‘God’ or the spiritual realms- I wasn’t sure what I believed but I was sure of something- that more was there. I heard them say “It doesn’t have to be like this.” But I was so mad. I stuck two fingers up and the heavens and continued along the path of self destruction.
I went through a kundalini awakening a few months later when I was rock bottom. Where I was quite literally shaken awake, because I would’t listen to the signs. I was literally shown the gates of hell before I decided I wanted more in life. I had a series of terrifying vivid dreams with the spirit realms that assisted shaking me awake, where I was shown things as well as in between dream states of sleep paralyses where demons would suck my soul down to hell.
They were the darkest times of my life. But they woke me up. It was from here I knew that I wanted change. That I would do what ever I could to make that change. I began to become conscious that there was much more to life past the physical realm around me. That demons and hell were real- not how I was taught when I was younger as some distant place with a cartoon devil, but rather an internal place of suffering, a state of consciousness of fear and despair- and the very last place you would ever want to end up. This is the state of consciousness found with lost souls- trapped in their own denial.
I couldn’t sleep last night and today it’s all I can think about. People don’t have to die. And if you are reading this and feel like giving up. Please, don’t there is support for you here.
I began writing this post yesterday, I now pick up where I left off. I chose to post some other content on my channel that I had been holding back yesterday instead. This is a topic that I want take time with also.
I have never really been effected by death, but Edwins Death- I am. It’s haunting, its the first thing I think of in the morning, it’s been getting me out of bed and motivating me to put the accelerator on.
This past year I have been dragging my feet. I went through a very hard time, and let people who I really shouldn’t have get inside my head to the point where I was having panic attacks, and feeling great despair, pressure and upset. But Edwins death has woken me up. It’s put things in perspective. It’s like a slap round the face like non of that even matters in comparison. PEOPLE ARE KILLING THEMSELVES. I’m not going to let anyone or anything come between me and my mission now. It’s all go from here, I’m not holding back anymore.
At times this past year I've really wanted to die, life has ground that much- but there is a difference between me and someone who goes through and commits suicide. Suicide for me is not an option as I am aware of the implication and the beautiful alternative. This is what I wish to awaken within you today - A big PLEASE DO NOT KILL YOURSELF.
Following my Kundalini awakening today I am in deep communications with the spiritual realms and many being multi-dimensional beings, which is where I get all the wisdom and information from that I share- my mission is to communicate this. Through my spiritual connection I have had deep remembering of life before and after death. I have also received much information of the implications at hand if you choose to take your own life.
Below are reasons why we guide you not to commit Suicide :
1. Firstly life doesn’t ever really end- all the stuff we are wanting to leave behind, those feelings of despair, numbness, feelings of being lost- they don’t go away if you kill yourself. When you kill yourself, you leave your physical vessel but you still have your consciousness. The part of you that lives on- your awareness, some may even call it your soul.
Science has told us energy can not be made and it can not be destroyed- and we are energy, which means part of us lives on. It’s one of the reasons many scientists believe more lies beyond this physical realm, and that there is life after death. But hear it from someone who is in communication with those who have transitioned- There really is no such thing as death.
When someone kills themselves, they mostly are of a vibration of despair, a vibration of depression, a vibration of numbness. This is the frequency their consciousness is vibrating at. So when they take their life, their consciousness remains in this state to some extent. The pain is no more as they have left their physical body and return to love to some extent, however many who commit suicide find themselves very lost on the other side, not awakened to the larger part of themselves which is love and infinite potential.
It so much easier to find yourselves, and reawaken to love in this physical realm- which is why so many of us choose to incarnate here in the first place, because it is an accelerated learning ground.
2. Life is beautiful and is supposed to be fun. Something I am able to do is bounce back really quickly when I feel bad- this is something I am here to assist people in doing also. Even over this last year when I have been in excruciating pain because of situations past my control, I am able to find my balance and feel good pretty fast- in less than 2 minutes through the focus of my mind I can go from wanting to die, to pure ecstatic excitement for life.
Feeling good is a core spiritual practise for me and fundamentally a choice. As a teacher of The Law of Attraction it is a huge priority as I understand that it is my feelings that are relaying to me my frequency- there for what I am attracting more of.
Ultimately our thoughts create our reality and how we feel, so the key to feeling better is to think more positive thoughts- which the short cut to this, is to go have fun in a way that nourishes and respects of human vessel. My tools I use are:
• I like to run
• Be in nature
• Spend time in the sea
• Eat high vibration food
• Do yoga
• Creating Graphic Designs
• Going for really long power walks
• Listening to my music- (often going on fast passed walks in the process)
• Having consciousness expanding conversations with my friends
• Working with Plant medicines
• Drinking coffee in cafes
If I feel low, if I feel like I don’t want to continue, if I feel mad at the world- what I do is I chose something fun to do and even with just the idea of it, I feel better. Sometimes I can just ride the idea, I don’t actually need to go do the physically activity. I like to have fun and I like to play- this is what quite literally lights my way each day.
3. Life can be whatever you want it to be. The Law of Attraction is a big game changer. Because it turns life into that game you used to subconsciously play as a child. When every moment of ever day, all you wanted to do was play, in a constant state of reaching to have fun. And as a child when you fall over and hurt yourself you cry, but then real quick you can bounce back to that good feeling place.
Essentially that good feeling place is what we like to call alignment. Alignment with the path your greatest potential walks. Alignment is the place- the state of being within you that is joy. The state of being within you that feels fun, the state of being within you that is love.
When you are in alignment you are embodying feelings of joy, feelings of love, feelings that feel good. Essentially your feelings are relaying to you where you are vibrationally focused- and what you are attracting more of. Through the Law of Attraction we create our own reality, and it works essentially through matching your vibrational frequency. When you feel good your frequency is high and you attract manifestations that are also of a high vibrational frequency- that also feel good. The Law of Attraction is the central Law to this Universe- there is no escaping it, it is working 24/7- you are always attracting, it’s just a matter of what are you attracting?
Why do I highlight this? Because awakening to the Law of Attraction, and beginning to work with it, you can climb our of depression and despair and you can go onto create a life and a reality that you absolutely love- what ever it is you desire- you can create it. A life of joy, a life of fun, a life of excitement and a life that feels good. It’s a matter of vibrational frequency.
The reason why we get stuck in depression is because of The Law of Attraction. Because we are always attracting. In depression we essentially have depression because our thoughts are sad, and not serving us- They are of a low vibrational frequency- relayed to us by how we feel. The Law of Attraction keeps matching our low vibrational thoughts that feel bad, with more low vibrational thoughts that keep us feeling bad.
The key to climbing out of depression is to focus in a positive direction so the Law of Attraction can bring you more positive thoughts. Thats where my earlier list of fun things to do, is so key. You will have your own list of fun things to do- maybe similar to mine. But essentially priorities you play and feeling good. Do things that are fun, that make you feel good and you will have more positive thoughts and you will begin to attract more positive thoughts and in the process without even realising you are raising your vibration.
Essentially life can be what ever you want it to be which is why not to kill yourself. Your life is yours for the creating.
You can turn your life around no matter who you are, no matter what you’ve done or where you are- I know this because I have done it myself. There was a time I really hated who I was, but I did something about it and realised I how truly magical really is.
And I still do it myself every day, every day I reach to evolve my consciousness and feel better and create things- there is no end, there always more fun, always more play always more.
Working with The Law of Attraction is so much fun. And fun really is the key, to creating a fun feeling reality. It’s simple when you are reminded of this- and I say reminded because you all know this innately. As children you reached to live in alignment innately, it’s our natural state of being. As kids we knew one thing for sure:
LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.
So Essentially that is why you shouldn’t kill yourself- the implications are so huge they are quite literally out of your physical hands if you go through with it- yet something your consciousness still has to endure on the other side, so you really should just stay and create a life focused in a different way, with the tools I have shared with you today. YOUR ARE HERE TO PLAY.
LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO FEEL EASY.
We just need to remember and awaken to our natural state of being that is within us, that is Love.
This has been quite a long post so I will bring things to a close- but its such an important topic for me to address. I don’t want to see people throw their life away anymore. I want to see people create the life that they came to live. I communicate with suicides and believe me This is what they want you to know: DO NOT THROW YOUR LIFE AWAY!!! Life is SO MAGICAL. You are so Lucky to be here there are so many souls waiting to reincarnate here on earth after awakening on the other side to how amazing life really is.
You are not alone, I get life can really burn but please know light is always here for you.
If you feel like you need someone to talk to- I offer 15 minute free phone calls- please book a session, do not take your life, we can turn things around.
I love you unconditionally, you are my brother and sister (I don’t care who you are or what you have done) and we are in this together.
This planet, and current society (I will save the depths of this for another post) is changing BIG TIME, New Earth is here and I am here to help bridge it to you.
All is a vibrational state of being and you have all you seek within you.
You are love. No one can ever take that away from you, its just a matter of how receptive are you to seeing it?
I love you, you have so much potential you are not alone.
If you feel on the edge- go into nature, go relax, go breathe in the air deep in nature. You can turn your life around. There are many things to do. SO much to CREATE. From here this is now my mission to further share those tools with you, do what I can to assist you. I am so sorry it has taken this to wake me up, but I will do what I can from here. I am moving with new determination than ever before, the human race and every one of your well being is so important to me. To everybody else, because we are all one. We are in this together.
Life is fun. And you came to enjoy. You came here to do so many great things.
Wishing you great peace
I LOVE YOU and I BELIEVE IN YOU.
In loving memory of Edwin Colley 23 years old.
May he dance with the angels.